The Gift of Giving...

I always thought I was a fairly generous person. I love giving thoughtful gifts to others, tithe 10% of my paychecks to go towards charitable causes (Compassion International, Samaritan's Purse, disaster relief, school families who are in need), Boy/Girl Scouts, etc.

However, while considering myself a generous person, I've also realized that I'm a tightwad... no, cheap... no, a penny-pincher... no, frugal... YES. There have been countless times where I have been stingy with my money and time. I find ways to justify not supporting a friend's Mary Kay Business or Thirty-One Gifts Business; leaving exactly 15% as a tip, not driving out to visit a dear friend who lives more than 30 minutes away, and never loaning money to anyone - friends or family.

I have come to realize that the generosity of others continues to impact me in such a positive way, that it's driving me to be more generous. It started with getting married in 2010. I couldn't believe how generous people were for both my shower and wedding. I was shocked at how many people who couldn't make the wedding still sent me a gift (I didn't know that was done). After going to umpteen weddings this summer/fall, I've just reminded myself that I still have cards to send out for not only weddings that we couldn't attend, but even a wedding we DID attend! How awful is that?

Then, in 2012 I found out I was pregnant. Once again, the generosity came pouring in. People from work made me or gave me things, family members went well out of their way to provide baby necessities, I was thrown an amazing shower where people truly showered me with gifts. Then, after the birth of my baby, I still received gifts from people- and again, some people who couldn't make my baby shower still sent me a gift and others gave me a gift for the baby shower AND after the birth (I didn't know that was done either)! This all has opened my eyes to how ungenerous I am. I mean, I always have good intentions and THINK about how I can be supportive, but actually doing it is a whole other thing.

That brings me to the BEST example of generosity that I know- and it might shock some of you. But, it's my husband. He leaves good tips - even if the service wasn't the best. He additionally tips the Rookies and Tano's delivery driver even if there's already a delivery fee included. He thinks of thoughtful gifts for special occasions and even for no particular reason (he doesn't run to the store to pick up a gift- he actually thinks about a gift that is fitting and then finds where he can buy it or order it) and tells me that I can take credit for the gift if I want - EVEN THOUGH HE PAID FOR IT! He helps his friends complete labor-intensive jobs that make him sweat buckets. When the weather is bad, he pulls people out of the ditch and drives people to their destinations. He fixes his friends' cars outside of work to help them out. He, too, supports Boy/Girl Scouts. He GIVES AWAY things that he doesn't need anymore (and I'm in the background thinking how he should save it "just in case" or try to sell it for some money). He puts his money down on some things trusting that others will pay him back. He doesn't hold a grudge if they don't pay him back- he figures they'll pay him eventually. He occasionally brings me some Crossword Scratch Off Lottery tickets, just because he knows I enjoy them once in a while. The list could easily go on...

So, even though it's way past the time to make New Year's Resolutions, I have mine. It's to be more generous. More generous in the quiet ways. I want to go out of my way for others. Already I've started tipping more (and it sure feels good to walk out of an establishment after leaving a good tip), truly listening to others and finding ways I can help/support them when they don't suspect it, and giving things away if I know someone else could use it.

Being generous isn't just giving money to good causes, but it's giving time and consideration to others. And that's the kind of person I want to be.

But don't get me started on The Giving Tree. That's a whole different view of giving and I greatly dislike it.

Just Because I Love You

I tend to be quite simple when it comes to making meals. I could live off of portobello mushroom sandwiches, vegetable fajitas, baked potatoes loaded with veggies, homemade veggie pizza, salads, the occasional Hough spaghetti, and grilled chicken. I don't add spices- not even salt. I'm pretty sure this simplicity stems from how I had finally lost weight after being overweight for a good chunk of my life. Eating "healthy" like that, also allows me to enjoy the delicious desserts that I love to eat on a daily basis "guilt free" whether it is brownies, ice cream, cookies, or sherbet. In my mind they balance each other out.

Unfortunately, I married a man who loves full-flavored foods. My "go-to" meals are the ones he'd rather pass on. He watches the Food Network, plays with a variety of ingredients, and often makes a delicious dinner that I can only enjoy if I don't know how much butter, oil, or creamy ingredients that he added. This makes our evening dinners pretty basic. I'll offer to make my meals and he'll quickly say, "No, thanks." Once in a while he'll make something if he's feeling motivated, otherwise, we tend to compromise and make something we both can "stand." Perhaps Chop Suey, a frozen pizza (half of one of his full flavored meat lover pizzas, and half of one of my thin crust veggie pizzas), a chicken dish, Hough Spaghetti (which I'm SO THANKFUL that he enjoys),  or a Viola frozen meal. His overall preference would be if I made a full-flavored (meaning HIGH CALORIE) meal with venison or  beef.

So once in a while I try to make a new recipe. Something that sounds good to me that will hopefully taste good to both of us. I might be at 2:20- two meals that were satisfying to him and twenty that were just average and not worth making again. But I still try. I tried tonight, making a creamy chicken pasta dish. I found it over-salted and bland-if that's even possible. It also needed vegetables to add some color and personal appeal to me. When I asked if he thought it had too much salt, he just reminded me that it probably tasted that way to me because it actually had flavor - something I didn't typically have. Boo to him. I love my happy, simple meals. To me, they taste delightfully delicious.

Anyhoo, what was the point for sharing this? I suppose it was just to remind myself that loving someone means doing something you think they will appreciate- even if they don't see the good intentions behind it and still wish you made something full of red meat and fat.

Happy Monday!

Laziness

I woke up this morning completely refreshed after sleeping for 10 1/2 hours. I went to bed at 7:30pm last night, and could do so, because I wasn't worried about my husband thinking that I was a loser by going to bed so early (he was down by the river with his cousins for their annual "Tra Fest" (a weekend of camping by the WI river with intentions to hunt, but unfortunately always ending with drinking too much)).

With getting up so early, I knew I could do just about whatever I wanted. I had time for a full day project or tons of little ones. I started on the little ones. The kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom, and basement all got cleaned. The workout area in my basement is now user-friendly again, as I did round two of cellar spider vacuuming, freeing the elliptical machine from their intricately designed webs.

Then the husband got home. Surprise, surprise, he wasn't feeling all that well. And as no surprise to anyone, I wanted to talk with him since I hadn't seen him all weekend. He, on the other hand, had no desire to spend any "quality" time together as it IS football Sunday. So, I went upstairs and did the last bit of painting that was needed in the baby room. Then I did something I haven't done in a LONG time. Nothing. I sat in front of the T.V. for about 2 1/2 hours watching movies- or parts of movies depending on what was on. During that time I thought of everything else I should be doing... Maybe working on my wedding scrapbook, finding another area in the house to organize, fill out my much needed maternity leave paperwork for work, do something with the bag of apples, trays of tomatoes, rotting peppers, and last summer's butternut squash that has taken over the kitchen counter... but no, I sat. Oh, and I made brownies... brownies with chocolate chunks. Yum!

Finally, after feeling worthless for wasting my afternoon away, I went upstairs to clean the second bedroom (which accumulated everything that was once in the room that is now going to be the baby room). It took just a few seconds before I spotted the book titled Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. I had acquired this from my sister who had picked it up at a garage sale while she was pregnant. So, I left the room with my book in hand and decided to sit and read- something else I haven't done in a long time (if you don't count school-related materials).

Reading this book, which was a fast read, made me realize I've been blessed with a very easy pregnancy (knock on wood). I haven't gotten hormonally crazy nor had to deal with nearly anything Jenny McCarthy apparently went through. But, I still have about 10 weeks to go, so, we'll see. Reading the book and eating brownies persuaded me to go upstairs and take a nap. A nap? After already sleeping for 10 1/2 hours the night before?

So now it's after 6:00pm and I still have loads I could do- but nothing I'm really motivated to do. Packers play at 7:00, so I probably shouldn't start anything big. Supper sounds good, but making something requires effort. The rain isn't helping either.

The First Week

School is back in session, as is my early morning alarm. The first few months of school bring me less sleep, excitement for a clean slate, lots of rule setting, plenty of laughs, and parent phone calls so the kids know that I mean business.

Some of this week's events are worth remembering...

Student 1: "Umm. Mrs. Krueger... Well, I don't mean to be rude but... Ummm (imagine a young girl who cannot decide whether she should focus on my eyes or my belly the entire time while talking to me)... I've heard rumors about you... umm... I heard that you have... umm... or are going to have a... um... are pregnant?" Then she looks up at me with the most unsure and genuine eyes I have ever seen.

Student 2: "Mrs. Krueger, I need to use the bathroom."

Me: "We JUST took a bathroom/drink break 10 minutes ago. Right now it's our reading time."

Student 2: "But, I have a bladder infection. I need to go to the bathroom."

Me: "Ohhhh. Really? That's a big deal. I'm surprised that the nurse or your father didn't tell me about this. I also find it hard to believe you didn't have to go for three hours this morning, and now you have to go twice in ten minutes. But, since I start every year trusting all my students until they give me a reason not to trust them, I should probably let you go, right?"

Student 2: Shakes her head up and down.

Me: "Okay, well, go to the bathroom and I'll make sure to talk with the nurse to make sure we can have a plan set up for you until this passes."

----

Next Day (same student)

Student 2: "Mrs. Krueger, I can't have lunch today."

Me: "Oh, no. Why not?"

Student 2 "Because corn tacos make me throw up and I don't like grilled cheese."

Me: "And you didn't bring a lunch from home?"

Student 2: "No."

Me: "Well, you ARE going to be hungry at lunch time. You should pick one that you think would be best for today even if you don't eat it all. OR you can call your dad and ask him to bring you a lunch from home."

Student 2: "I just won't eat lunch today."

Me: "Are you sure? You WILL be hungry."

Student 2: "Yes, I'm sure."

Me: "Okay, I won't order a lunch for you. Remember, there won't be extra lunches at lunch time."

Student 2: "That's fine. I don't want lunch."

Right before lunch (same student)

Student 2: "Mrs. Krueger, I need to go to the bathroom."

Me: "Right. Because of your bladder infection?"

Student 2: "I don't have a bladder infection."

Me: "Wait. You DON'T have a bladder infection? (Oh, surprise!) That means you lied to me."

Student 2: "No, I didn't lie to you."

Me: (getting a little more stern with my voice now) Yes. You did lie. Yesterday, you told me that you had a bladder infection so you could go to the bathroom during our reading time. That is lying."

Student 2: "But I don't have a bladder infection now."

Me: "Bladder infections don't go away in less than one day. Now I have to figure out what to do, because I don't know if I can trust you. I don't even really know if you DO have to go to the bathroom. Since you lied to me yesterday, what should I believe?"

Student 2: "I didn't have a bladder infection yesterday."

Me: "Well, since I don't even know if that's the truth, I'm going to have to talk to the nurse today because I forgot to talk to her yesterday, and call home so I can get honest answers about this. I wish I could trust what you're saying, but now I need to talk to someone who hasn't lied to me." I turn and walk away.

Student 2: Sulks away.

---Getting Ready to Walk to Lunch---

Student 2: "Mrs. Krueger, did you order a lunch for me?"

Me: "No."

Student 2: "Oh." And looks down at her feet.

Me: I walk away.

Student 2: "Mrs. Krueger, can I bring the cherry tomatoes that I picked from the school garden this morning to take to lunch?"

Me: "You bet! That's a great idea, because I'm sure you are very hungry. That will at least give you something to eat."

---At the Lunch Table---

Student 2: "Mrs. Krueger, am I going to get in trouble?"

Me: "For not ordering a lunch? I'm not mad about that. I just know you're hungry. But you made that choice."

Student 2: "No, I mean, will my dad be mad at me?"

Me: "I don't know. You know your dad better than I do. I just met him yesterday. But I am going to call home to let him know that you are going to be one hungry girl after school."

Student 2: Looks at me with alarm.

Me: "Okay, well, it's time for me to go eat my lunch. I'll see you at recess."

Student 2: Puts her head down on the table.

Me: I leave.

---At the Lunch Table: Different Student---

Me: "Student 3, how did you get two milks with your lunch today?"

Student 3: "I brought 50 cents to buy it."

Me: "I'm glad you remembered that an extra milk costs 50 cents. Who did you buy it from?"

Student 3: "The person who gives out the lunches."

Me: "Okay, I'll go make sure that you paid and that she knows who you are if you plan on doing this often. Which lady was it again?"

Student 3: Explains which woman it is

Me: I leave to go ask her and get about 10 feet away from the table.

Student 3: "Mrs. Krueger!"

Me: I turn to the student.

Student 3: Extends his arm out, holding the milk to me.

Me: Look at him with terribly disappointed eyes. I take the extra unopened milk and return it. I come back and say, "This is a problem." and then walk away.

---During Lunch---

I call Student 2's dad. He is NOT happy. She, of course, does not have a bladder infection. She also didn't pack herself an afternoon snack (which dad told her to do the night before), so she was unhappy before she even got to school. He wanted to talk with her. I go to the lunch room to get her before she makes it to recess. She is BAWLING with her friends when I find her. I motion for her to come with me. She breaks down in the hallway, already knowing she's in trouble. I prep her for her talk with her dad. I tell her she needs to know that everyone makes mistakes, even adults. All she can do now is to learn from it and not do it again. I give her advice on how to accept whatever punishment she gets from dad and know that it WILL pass, it IS temporary. We talk about the importance of trust. I tell her that tomorrow will be a new day, and that now she'll have to work on earning trust back. While she's on the phone with dad about to break down, she looks at me across the room and I motion for her to breathe and calm down. She does. After talking with dad she hangs up. I tell her good job for making it through a hard conversation. She said her dad is mad. I said he's probably more disappointed about her choice, just like I was. I remind her tomorrow is a new day. She nods. I send her outside.

I call Student 3's mom. She immediately knows her son was lying. I told her how I handled it and said they should probably have a conversation at home about if he needs another milk, or an extra drink from home.

With 5 minutes left of my lunch (I still haven't eaten) I felt like a hard a** teacher. Sorry, that's the only way I can describe how I felt. I was strong, confident, and didn't hesitate to make any phone calls home. I was ready to take on and take down anyone. I had to tell a colleague. I credited my increased sense of power to my baby belly. Oh, what a year this will be!

---While students are playing/exploring with math manipulatives, after snack time---

Student 4: (quite loudly) "It smells like peanut butter over here." And he looks at me questioningly. 

Me: (from across the room) "I don't know why."

Student 5: (who is sitting next to the good smeller responds loudly) "Oh! I have nuts."

Me: (from across the room) BURST OUT LAUGHING! None of the other kids laughed, but I did! The adult in the room!

Student 5: "No, I mean for snack. But yes I do... But no... "

Me: "It's fine! I understand. Let's move on."

We both have big grins on our faces.

Yep. It's going to be another interesting year - as every year is.

Happy Saturday!

I want to do EVERYTHING!

This bothers my husband. I truly want to do everything. My mind is consistently reeling with ideas and possibilities. Things I want to experience and try. Things I want to make and create. Pretty much every week I come up with a new business idea that I think would be amazing. I start to plan it out in my head, only to get distracted with a completely different business idea the next week. 


The same goes for crafting. An example being a cake decorating class that I took several years ago. I took one class, and invested in all the tools needed to bake and create delicious and aesthetically pleasing treats (I've only used these tools a handful of times). Or the watercolor painting class where I also bought all the materials needed to paint (I haven't painted a single thing upon completion of the course). 


It also goes for ways I want to enrich myself. Like the Sign Language class that I took, envisioning myself becoming fluent in Sign Language (I never continued past Sign Language One). Or the business class I took and invested 12 weeks and 300 dollars on (and still haven't decided on a business I'd like to do- or actually a business that I could make money on instead of just do as a hobby). 


With summer ahead of me and garage sales and random people to give me ideas, my list of "I Want To" things continues to grow. I'd like to try oil painting. I want to learn how to make and create stained glass. I want to create beautiful mosaics. I want to learn how to make jewelry (even though I don't wear it). I want to use the Quilting Bible that my aunt bought for me one Christmas when I was ready and gung-ho on learning how to quilt, quickly envisioning all the cute things I would make. I also want to know where some words originated from, so I just looked up gung-ho and discovered: Gung ho (Vietnamese) is a slang term in American English used to mean "enthusiastic" or "dedicated" originally used in Marine slang. I regularly look up quilting classes and sewing classes through Joann Fabric to see what is being offered. 


Every few months I look up MATC's Adult Continuing Education courses to see what I'd like to do. I want to learn how to use scary tools that can cut off your fingers so I can make bird houses, bird feeders, bookshelves, and basically anything that you can create with wood. I want to make the bird treats and suet for our feeders. I want to whittle wood and create ice sculptures. I want to have an amazing garden that grows delicious, organic fruit by the buckets. I want to start and finish my wedding scrapbook and then move on to my teaching scrapbook, and then scrapbook for others!


I want to get chickens, goats, and ducks for the yard. I want to foster raccoons and other wildlife to give them a second chance. I want to cook new recipes on a weekly basis (which rarely happens- I often resort to the easy vegetable dishes that I love, but that Dusty is tired of seeing). I want to get a huge fish tank set up and have happy fish swimming around.

I want to have a girls' night where I actually see my girlfriends, make new friends, and get to laugh just by being me. I want to find a church that I can call home. I want to spend time with my sister and niece. I want to visit my friends who live in other states. I want to visit my Compassion children. I want to get my school lessons/units prepared before the school year begins. I want to work out everyday. I want to paint the rooms in my house and organize the basement... I want to keep thinking of things that I want to do.  


I want, I want, I want. Who has time to get bored?

Dear Betty Crocker

I love your boxed brownies and cakes. I always have a box in my cupboards "just in case." Tonight was one of those nights. With a craving for something light and fluffy, I went to my pantry and was delighted to see a box of Angel Food Cake Mix just waiting for me to whip up and bake. With a smile I set it on the counter imagining what it would soon taste like and quickly noticed the Box Top on the container. After looking a little closer, I noticed the Box Top expiration date was 2007. Knowing that Box Tops typically expire one to three years after buying an item, I found the cake mix's expiration date: November 2006. Did this deter me? No. I opened it up and smelled only Angel Food Cake goodness. I looked for bugs and saw none. I called my mom and sister who both agreed "what harm could it be to try... you really only add water" so I pressed onward. I mixed, poured, and licked the batter bowl. So far, so good. The next testament to your delightful desserts will be whether or not it rises and produces the same results six years after the expiration date. And for someone who has a problem with sweets, apparently just having a boxed mix of something delicious in the cupboards is enough to put me at ease and not feel the immediate need to bake it and eat it. It might also be time for me to go through my dry goods and check all the expiration dates.

Only 15 more minutes to go... the smell is already drifting through the house. =)

Nature's Music

Now that school is over (even though it ended Tuesday at 10:00am, I was at school until after 8pm cleaning that day and had to go back yesterday to finish it all up: packing up my classroom and protecting my items for when it is used for Summer School. I also had to bring back the 40 gallon tank which houses Turtle, my African Sideneck, and my 20 gallon fish tank) I can finally start working on my Summer To-Do List, which is unfortunately, quite long.

I started with some simple exercise. Thankfully, I just have to go down the road to get in a very pleasant nature walk. From my house to the dead-end nearby and back is a wonderful 3 mile trek. With some great hills and plenty of shading, you can't go wrong. This walk used to be my running trail and it would sure be nice to get back to that point sometime in the future, but this summer is for enjoyment, leisure, and a comfortable amount of productivity.

Often I notice people running/walking outside listening to their music as they go. Music as a sort of escape or distraction. I've done that plenty of times, but just about always come back to the conclusion that I like to have my ears free to catch the things that are happening around me. In the past, I've seen grouse, deer, rabbits, pheasants, snakes, squirrels, birds, random dogs and cats, all on my mini adventures. Of course, that's not including the llama farm that I go past, or the horses, cows, donkeys, chickens, and roosters that I see or hear in the yards of the neighbors along the way.

And yes, you can see some of these things while you go along with music, but I've found that I "see" a lot more without the music. Yesterday, as I took my first walk of the summer, I heard rustling in the grass ahead of me so I watched and waited... and out came two very young squirrels chasing each other through the tall grasses on the side of the road. Something I would have missed if I had been listening to music.

I continued my way and heard a funny noise that I thought might be a deer calling out. I didn't see anything, but kept an eye out. As I came to the dead end and headed back, I eventually saw a doe in the middle of the road. We locked eyes and then it took off. As soon as it was back in the woods, it started calling out again - I'm guessing a call of warning. But I listened and loved every second of it - something else I would have missed if I had been listening to music.

Focusing on my own thoughts and the nature around me is truly relaxing. I love seeing the blue birds fly above me and listen to the song birds that accompany me on my way. My goal this summer is to get a walk in everyday. Not just around my house, but anywhere... and, to prevent using my mp3 player the entire time. I'd like to see what I can truly "see" on each of these adventures. Maybe I should map out all the parks with trails that are around my area and start with some of those...

Happy Summer to everyone! I hope you get the opportunity to get out and enjoy nature as well.